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Twelve Days of Christmas : Day Two

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
December 15, 2015
5 Min read
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Christmas Music Is Awesome There are a lot of things I hate. There is a lot of music I hate. But I love Christmas Music. Sometimes, when I’m in my car alone, even in the middle of the summer, my iPhone will kick out a Christmas jam, and I just let it go. You know why? Because I love Christmas music. My wife will tolerate certain types of Christmas music only. And I’m not allowed to start before Thanksgiving and I rarely make it past Christmas Day. I don’t even get until New Year’s Day. There...

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Twelve Days Of Christmas : Day One

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
December 14, 2015
6 Min read
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I fucking love Christmas. I do. I love everything about it. The carols, the decorations, the weather, the movies and tv shows, giving gifts, the food, hell—sometimes—even the Church service. But I’m a traditionalist. And by that I mean, I like Christmas the way it was when I was a kid. I like an old fashioned Christmas with all the trimmings. Let me explain. There are rules, so let me start with rule number one. The Christmas Tree. A fake Christmas tree has about as much likelihood of making...

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Lie To Me

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
December 2, 2015
7 Min read
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I wrote the following piece almost ten years ago. It says as much about who I was then as it does about the changes in the world since then. I was raised with the firm belief that honesty was a thing to be valued. Telling the truth was the most important thing a man could do. It was, in fact, what separated the good people from the bad, the honorable from the dishonorable. But over the course of the last 38 years, I’ve begun to change my mind. The truth, I have discovered, is highly...

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You’re No Athlete

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
December 1, 2015
7 Min read
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There is nothing funnier in the world than seeing a grown man pretending to be a professional athlete. You’ve seen them. Pushing 40. Beginnings of a pot belly. Wearing the jersey with someone else’s name on the back. Like any minute they’re going to get the call, “Jimmy, we need you!” The reality is that fans of the Big Four: Football, Baseball, Basketball and Hockey are the least offensive. Generally, they simply wear a jersey, albeit with no pads or helmet. Even run of the mill fans wear a...

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A Proper Barbershop

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
November 25, 2015
6 Min read
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There’s no better feeling in the world than walking out of a proper barbershop having just had a wonderful experience and looking and feeling your best. It’s transcendent. It’s a wonderful experience—when done right anyway. The problem, for me, is I hate taking the time necessary to get a haircut, let alone a shave. I have to stop what I’m doing, drive to the barber, potentially wait as much as an hour or more, just for the opportunity to get my 20 minute haircut. I don’t enjoy the community of...

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