“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”
Angry Quote | Mark Twain
A
The 11 Worst People In America
T
We love lists in this country. We like to make them. We like to read them. If this wasn’t true click-farms like BuzzFeed and Huffington Post wouldn’t post so damn many of them. The lists don’t actually have to be that good because it’s all about the headline. If you click on the headline, they get paid. They don’t really give a shit if you read it or not. Actually that’s not true. They want you to forward to a friend with the phrase, “I can’t stop laughing.” These are a...
Quote : Jack Handey
Q
“When I die, I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandpa did.
Not like the screaming passengers
in his car.”
A Most American Holiday
A
There is really no more American holiday than Thanksgiving. It embodies everything we think of as good about America. Celebrating a bountiful harvest. Giving thanks. Sharing with family, friends and neighbors. The promise of good things to come. Some of you might be thinking, “What about the Fourth of July? What about celebrating the birth of our great nation? Independence Day? Isn’t that the most American holiday?” No. It’s not. Allow me to explain. Lots of countries have an Independence...
Quote
Q
“Think, think, think.”
Bias And The Romance Of Violence
B
I love violence in movies. I love a good fight scene. I love watching kick-ass military elites take out a platoon of enemy combatants. I cheer for the good guys and curse the bad guys. And there’s nothing like a scene where the good guy knows karate and just goes through six bad guys like they’re mentally challenged puppies. But it’s a fiction; a fantasy. None of it’s real. The problem is we’ve allowed that fantasy to creep over into reality for decades and now we’re paying...
Quote | Asimov
Q
“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”
Walk A Mile. Check My phone.
W
I recently purchased a Fitbit, a wristband computer that records your steps, heart rate, etc. If records a ridiculous amount of information and displays it all in these cool graphics on your phone. Nothing like a little mild OCD to help motivate you to lose weight. Walk a mile. Check your phone. Climb the stairs. Check your phone. It records how you sleep. How many steps you take throughout the day. How many flights of stairs you climb. Your heart rate, both resting and active. It also keeps...
How I Gained The Weight
H
Everyone will tell you how they lost the weight. They can’t wait to tell you how they lost the weight. But no one tells you how they gained the weight. I’m sure it’s no mystery. Eat shitty. Sedentary lifestyle. Booze. Well, this is my story. I went to the doctor recently to make sure I wasn’t dying. So far so good, but they’re still going to do some tests. One involves sticking something down my throat. The other involves sticking something up my ass. Maybe they’ll meet in the...
Quote | Longworth
Q
“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
