In which I contemplate the idea of publishing my diary entries, forced family fun, and the NFL
I write in my diary every day, or almost every day. I no longer call it a journal or use that term as a verb. I don’t journal. I write in my diary. It sounds a lot less hip and cool, and that is the point, at least for me. Humility goes a long way with artistic endeavors. A lot of the time, I begin an entry, and after a few paragraphs, it becomes an essay, and I copy it over to another document to work on. Other times, it’s just a bunch of half-baked ideas and random commentary about life in general, and mine in particular. But there’s often some gold in there. A few shiny objects I’d hate to see lost.
I’m going to experiment with this and see how well it is received, but I’d like to publish some of it here. They will be clearly marked as diary entries, so feel free to avoid them if that’s not your bag. Some entries will be more cohesive than others, but don’t look for a solid structure or theme. These are the ramblings of my addled brain, trying to make sense of the world as it is. I write to process the chaos, and that, in turn, informs my worldview.
You might find it entertaining. I used to do this on Facebook all the time. People just called them rants back then. Same thing.
While The World Burns
Lest you falsely believe that I am unaware of the horror threatening to overwhelm us in this era of chaos, I am well aware of what is going on in the world. After a decade of stochastic terrorism, I am no longer capable of panic, which is not the same as resignation. I warned everyone back in 2016 that this would happen, and it’s exactly as was predicted—maybe even a little worse. Granted, I didn’t think we were going to start colonizing other sovereign nations and shooting innocent civilians in the face at point-blank range, so you got me there. Not on my bingo card, at all. A fortune teller I am not.
I have learned to ignore a lot of the noise and only stick my head up when it’s truly warranted. We all need to be aware, but we don’t have to wallow in it. I don’t need to read in-depth doomsday scenarios all day long to be engaged and informed. I have to live my life, such as it is, as best I can. I have no way of knowing how all this will turn out, so I might as well enjoy what time there is left. This could be as good as it gets.
I’m spending less and less time on what social media I have left (Mastodon), because at the moment, even it is being overrun by waves of panic and outrage. Time for me to read 20th-century literature, write in my diary, and take my longish walks—which brings me to today.
Game Day
It’s a chilly, damp, grey, January day, but also Game Day for all you sports fans out there. The San Francisco 49ers play the Philadelphia Eagles at home, at Lincoln Financial Field, in the first round of the NFL playoffs (American Football). The Eagles are 6-point favorites, but they’ve been even more inconsistent than they were last year, so I’m not super confident about their chances. Nothing I can do about it. Go Birds.
If you’re not a sports fan, that amounted to an adult in a Peanuts cartoon saying, “Wah-wah-wah, wah-wah-wah-wah.” I get it. But it’s a fun distraction for a lot of us, so let us have our little merrymaking. We don’t criticize you for watching Real Housewives or Project Runway, which are equally as stupid and pointless. It’s entertaining drivel, such as it is. Endure it.
I know the Eagles won the Super Bowl last year, but they never lived up to my expectations for what they were capable of. I still think the coaching is lacking, but I’m not going to get too worked up about it. If they win, great. If they shit the bed, I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. I do hope the sun comes out, because this weather sucks. I heard it’s supposed to get windy, so that could be a factor in the game. I hate the wind.
That has to be a weird aging thing. Up until around the time I turned 50, I don’t remember having an opinion on the wind, one way or another. My wife was always outside running, walking, or riding her bike, so the wind was a constant factor, and something she thought about and brought up. I worked in an office all day and rarely left the building, so unless it was blowing my car off the road, I didn’t really notice it. Now, I’m fearful that a tree will fall on my house every time the wind gusts over 30mph. It keeps me up at night.
Probably won’t help with long field goals, or maybe it will.
A Better Experience
I’ve spent the past few days tinkering and toiling away in an effort to create a better reading experience here on the website. While I’m capable of doing quite a bit of technical trickery on my own, I’m at the edge of my abilities here, standing on my toes in nose-deep water, hoping it doesn’t get any higher. I can just breathe, so we’re good.
As of this morning, a total of 75 people had signed up to receive email alerts, which is incredible to me. It might not sound like much, but it is, because these are all qualified, motivated readers. I have almost 12.5k followers on Medium, with almost 700 email subscribers, and when I post a new story, I’ll be lucky if I end up with 50 reads at the end of the day. That’s pretty paltry engagement. I’m hoping to do much better here, or at least no worse. I just want people to read and enjoy the work. That’s all.
Whether or not people end up reading my stories because they get my emails or not, the sign-up is my indication that you’ve joined this little cult of characters. All but three of those 75 signed up just yesterday, which is amazing. It gives me hope. Maybe we really can rewild ourselves and create new independent communities. I realize this is just one blog and not a community, but one step at a time. Baby steps, Bob. Baby steps.
Housekeeping
Someone left a note (thank you for that) requesting a linear post list so they could use an RSS reader, and I’m happy to inform you that this already exists, and you can find it under the META tab on the right-hand sidebar of any page. It’s listed as Entries Feed. I didn’t get to name it, that’s just what they call it. You just add “/feed” to the end of the URL. There are also icon links at the top of stories and at the bottom of every page.
For the less techie among you, RSS stands for Real Simple Syndication, and is an open source protocol that facilitates the easy distribution of content. It’s like a cheat code, and how podcasts work, which can be applied to blogs as well. You download a reader app (Google RSS Reader) that you can add feeds to (a URL, like an address), and you can read all the stories from all the sources you follow, in one place, on a simple reader, without all the shenanigans of a website. Personally, I like all the ballyhoo of a website, but I get the attraction of keeping it simple and aggregated. The point is, it’s there if you want it. It’s how the content of the emails you signed up for is determined.
Speaking of which, a lot of you who signed up for email alerts failed to follow up on the confirmation emails, which presumably went to your junk folder, or you just ignored. I activated you anyway (totally against the rules), but there’s a good chance all my future emails will go to junk unless you resolve the issue. On the other hand, if you were signing up to be nice, but don’t actually want the emails clogging your inbox, then you’re in luck. No worries. You’ll likely never see them. No harm. No foul. Maybe bookmark the site instead, just in case you forget my name.
Note: I had another good note in the form of online feedback, that basically said they would have liked to browse the site without being accosted by pop-ups asking for sign ups and feedback right off the bat. Fair point. I deleted the feedback pop-up for now, and delayed the signup for two minutes. I’ll keep tweaking as needed.
Forced Family Fun
My father called it FFF, or Forced Family Fun. This was any activity that was mandatory but intended to be entertaining or at least enjoyable. We’re going for a drive, walk, hike, etc. We’re going to have dinner with the Smiths. We’re going to a show. It didn’t matter whether or not you were interested, because you were going. Might as well accept it and do your best to enjoy it.
That’s a little how I feel about trying to manufacture a sense of community and engagement. As a society, we’ve clearly seen how it’s done, but it’s egregiously manipulative and pretty gross. I have no intention of trying to adopt the sins of the hellscape that is social media. On the other hand, it would be nice to see some activity in the comments section, so that side conversations can happen. This will be the one place where I encourage people to drop links to things they’ve written or made. Normally, I hate that shit, but here it makes sense.
I’m not asking for a bunch of saccharine back-patting, but it’s the best way to know people are reading what you write, and it allows others to chime in. We’ll see how well that goes when I don’t like the opinion. C’est la vie.
Communities are messy.