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The Life Of Brian


Tuesday, February 23, 2021

This is a partial list of things I want to do, but probably won’t, so I will write about fictionally so that I’ll feel like I did. Not a complete list but I will continue to add to it as I think of them. 

1. a bookstore called LMNO

First of all, it needs a lazy cat with no interest in the outside world other than lounging about and being stroked by strangers. It would be a mix of new and used books, but a curated collection of just the best in all sorts of categories. Maybe 300 books total. Not everything that comes down the pike. You buy that from Amazon. This is more like a friend’s library you visit, only he knows you’re never going to return the book, so he just charges you for it before you leave with it. The one thing you would be guaranteed is that everything offered was a great book. 

A fireplace and a few soft chairs. The coffee shop is half a block away. My music, which would be constantly changing to appeal to my different moods. Newspapers on sticks. Knick knacks for sale. Things you don’t need but want. 

I would totally do this and you would love it, but there isn’t enough money to be made in literate imagination. There just isn’t. It would be fun to be retired and rich and just do it the way I’d want to do it, profit be damned.

2. A Modern Home Out West

A spacious but not massive, sparse but not cold, bright yet cozy, airy and clean, modern home in the American West. Entire walls would slide open to an enormous patio. No pool. I don’t like pools. Enormous outdoor kitchen complete with charcoal pit and wood burning pizza oven.

It would be a heavy timber frame with lots of stone and glass. Exposed beams throughout. Amazing natural light and designed for as much open air as possible, maintaining a comfortable temperature year round. Multiple fireplaces. 

A separate complex a hundred yards away. Art/Photo Studio. Study/Library. Test Kitchen.

Closer to the house but in the opposite direction would be a greenhouse and Arboretum, that could fully open when weather permitting.

Two dogs. A Golden Retriever and a Bulldog. The retriever is for Jane. Something that wants to go all the time, but will sleep curled up next to you at night. The bulldog is for me. He barely leaves the studio. Snores a lot.

3. Live In Italy

This could be one story, but it would need to be sort of epic, over the course of a life, from a small, coastal town on the Mediterranean, to simple apartment in Rome, to a small villa in Tuscany. Or a bunch of stories. 

I would have to make the leap to becoming self-employed and in a situation where I could more or less work remotely. Not terribly unrealistic. Doable. 

I’d never really learn the language. Barely passable. I’d win everyone over by taking their picture and giving them a copy. It works wonders. 

4. Live In Paris, Barcelona, Lisbon, Bergen, Vienna, Perth, and Whanganui

See above. These are all European cities, with the exception of the down under. It’s just the dream of being an expat and those are all cities I would like to live in for a time. 

5. Be A Painter

Anyone can be a painter. I could be a painter. I’m not, but I could be. Not necessarily a good painter, just one who paints. Listen, and I’m good with you calling yourself an artist, but if I ask you about your occupation and you say artist, that better be paying your rent and grocery bills with the proceeds of your art. 

Anyway, I’d like to be a painter. A successful painter. Successful enough that I can afford my ridiculous studio somewhere nice and I drink overly expensive wine. 

I want a few crazy friends that are also degenerate artists. We need a weekly poker game. One stupid dog.

I have a lot more. Will add as I go.

About the author

David Todd McCarty

David Todd McCarty is a writer, director, photographer and cinematographer. He writes fiction and nonfiction essays as well as journalism. You can see his commercial work at http://www.hoppingfrogstudios.com

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Writer | Journalist | Storyteller


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