Horseshoes and cowboy boots In the middle of the South Jersey that is. Blue collars, red hats, white faces Action news proclaims the world is ending Day drinkers and golfers don’t seem to notice Sit wherever you like, she says Taco Tuesdays Beer and a shot is the special Camo…
White, Red and Blue
There was another one According to the news Excessive force they say Union says differently Video is hard to watch White shirt stained red Keep calm they say Everyone is innocent Until proven not guilty When you wear blue
They Go Flat
“They go flat,” she said. “What goes flat?” I asked. “The cats,” she said and motioned to the old black cat laying on its side on the deck. She sucked on the crab leg she was pointing with and continued, “They go flat in the summer.” I looked over at…
Research Suggests Dick Pics A Failure
Dear Men: We have recently concluded an exhaustive study, including numerous discussions with persons of the female gender, and have determined that the once hopeful program, “Digital Genitalia Distribution in Order to Influence and Entice Women” through the act of sending pictures of your penis via digital means, has not only been…
The Value of Fasting
I’ve been a lot of thinking lately about a certain corned beef sandwich, preferably grilled with butter, on a nice sturdy rye, with mustard and melted swiss. There’s a perfect pickle there as well. It’s a fantasy that is currently knocking about in my head. I’m on day six of what…
Going to Church
Back before the accident, we’d always go surfing on Sunday mornings. He called it going to church. “Come on, let’s go to church,” he’d say. “I’ll call you in the morning. We don’t want to be late.” Then he’d laugh and slap his knee like he hadn’t said that a…
Shady Palms Motel
You see the sign before you see the motel most times. It’s a big neon one of the type of place that still advertises air conditioning and television as if these are recent inventions and worthy of bragging about. The Shady Palms Motel is not the worst place I’ve ever…
A Whistling Gopher
Whistling Gopher: (n) A mark who departs with a whistle of disbelief after he hears the price of your ride or show or product. I was a showman on the Midway. People said I had sawdust in my blood. An honest to God assman, yessiree. That’s an A&S Man…