Decorating I’ve already covered Christmas Tree decorations, so I won’t be covering that here. If you missed it, go back to Part One and start over. Stop skipping around. These are rules, not suggestions. Today I want to talk about decorating for Christmas. This is something that I accept as…
Twelve Days of Christmas : Day Three
Exterior Illumination Just like Rusty, my father taught me everything I know about exterior illumination, which is absolutely nothing. My father is not a handy man and I inherited this lack of skill. We never had lights on the outside of our house, or in the trees, or any of…
Twelve Days of Christmas : Day Two
Christmas Music Is Awesome There are a lot of things I hate. There is a lot of music I hate. But I love Christmas Music. Sometimes, when I’m in my car alone, even in the middle of the summer, my iPhone will kick out a Christmas jam, and I just…
Twelve Days Of Christmas : Day One
I fucking love Christmas. I do. I love everything about it. The carols, the decorations, the weather, the movies and TV shows, giving gifts, the food, hell—sometimes—even the Church service. But I’m a traditionalist. And by that I mean, I like Christmas the way it was when I was a…
You’re No Athlete
There is nothing funnier in the world than seeing a grown man pretending to be a professional athlete. You’ve seen them. Pushing 40. Beginnings of a pot belly. Wearing the jersey with someone else’s name on the back. Like any minute they’re going to get the call, “Jimmy, we need…
A Proper Barbershop
There’s no better feeling in the world than walking out of a proper barbershop having just had a wonderful experience and looking and feeling your best. It’s transcendent. It’s a wonderful experience—when done right anyway. The problem, for me, is I hate taking the time necessary to get a haircut,…
Home For The Holidays
Everyone wants to be home for the holidays, even if only in our dreams, or so says the old carol. Thanksgiving and Christmas are especially difficult times to be away from home. Our thoughts are packed with memories and emotions that at times, quite literally, define who we are, and…
Often Wrong, But Never In Doubt.
We have a saying in the McCarty family: Often wrong, but never in doubt. No one has ever accused a McCarty of not having a strong opinion. Even in the face of insurmountable odds, we’re sure we’re going the right way, have the right tools for the job, and understand…
The Eleven Worst People In America
We love lists in this country. We like to make them. We like to read them.